A recurring theme I’m seeing in my couples counseling clients is a disagreement on politics. Which accompanies this feeling that right now everything is political. So the couple feels like they can’t escape from it.

Statements I’m hearing frequently:

“You’re attacking my character.”

“You do not have empathy for other people.”

“This shouldn’t impact our relationship.”

“We can’t talk about anything.”

“You don’t listen to me.”

“We should agree to disagree, but they can’t do that”

“I’m talking about facts.”

“We view the world differently now.”

“We’re farther apart than ever, it makes me wonder what else we disagree about.”

“I can’t get through to them.”

“It scares me to know they think like that.”

Any of this sound familiar?

Couples who disagree on politics right now have it rough. It’s impacting how they view their relationship and each other. It’s making them wonder how they can have a future if they are so far apart on these issues.

There is even a disagreement on what it is they are talking about. One partner is usually saying they are talking about policies, facts and how to solve issues. The other partner is usually saying this comes down to values and humanity. Which leaves that partner wondering how they can view others so differently. Which makes the other partner feel attacked and mischaracterized as a bad person.

We work on bridging these issues in couples counseling. It’s not about learning how to agree to disagree and move on. It’s about bringing you closer together as a couple and understanding the impact things have on our relationship. Learning to value the impact over our good intentions and prioritizing our relationship is learning to live a relational life. And we need to learn how to live relational lives to have good relationships. They don’t just happen on their own.

If you want to learn more, reach out.