If you are reading this website right now and you are a man, chances are it wasn't your idea to come here. What I hear a lot from my male clients is that someone in their life urged them to seek out help. (If you are here on your own, good for you! It takes more bravery to get help than it takes to "just deal with it" on your own.) So most likely, your wife, girlfriend, partner, children or maybe even your employer has told you to change. Maybe they've been telling you awhile and have now threatened to end the relationship unless you get help, so here you are.
What was holding you back on getting help before? It's not that you didn't care, you do, very much. You love your family. The problem is the culture you grew up in and still live in. One that says a man talking about his experience and feelings is "unmanly." A culture that says men attending therapy is "unmanly."
By the time you entered elementary school, you understood that you weren't supposed to show fear or sadness because it was perceived as weakness. You felt these feelings because you're human, but you were conditioned to push them aside. To not let them out. And to never speak about them.
Unfortunately for you, not talking about your experience and feelings has a negative impact on your relationships. This isn't your fault. I understand this. Many of my clients are men. I have spent a lot of time, money, reading, and training on what this culture has done to our men. And I know how to fix it.
| This is a specialty of mine: therapy for men. |
Many of my male clients are connected to parenting. Either they are trying to become parents, their wife or girlfriend are pregnant, or they have children.
Parenting young children is hard. A lot of my client's in therapy have talked about the loneliness that comes with parenting young children. They used to spend time with their friends but rarely do now. It has now gotten difficult with all of the busy schedules. They talk about anger and frustration. They understand they shouldn't be mad at a young child for making a mess or not sleeping, but they still experience that rush of frustration. Then the guilt for feeling that way.
They worry about their ability to parent. They think about the relationship they had with their dad. Some might worry about living up to the kind of dad they had, those are big shoes to fill. Others desperately want to be a different kind of father than their own. Some had a painful childhood.
Their relationship with their wife or girlfriend has changed. It's lost some of the fun it used to have (why don't we laugh like we used to?) and it's hard sometimes competing for her attention. Logically you know that she has things she needs to get done (and you do too) but you still miss the connection. Your sex life has changed and you want it to improve. Sometimes you feel jealous.
Sometimes you love your kids so much it's terrifying. You worry about providing for your family, and feel the pressure to make sure you are successful so they have everything they need, or more.
| There is good news. Therapy for men is a thing. |
We can work on improving your relationship. I can teach you how to share your emotions in a way that still feels manly. Being able to do this will help your relationship, and it will help you. You will feel better. You will be more connected to your partner. You will improve your relationship with your children.
And the best part? It doesn't have to take a million therapy sessions to get there. My style of therapy is direct and honest (with some good humor mixed in there too). I give you the tools and skills you need to make changes, starting in the first session. It is not my goal to have you in therapy forever. My goal is for my client's to change, for things to get better, and for them to see improvements from day 1.
If you are ready to get to work, book an appointment online here:
I'm excited to help you with your transformation.
If you aren't ready yet, that's okay. Come back to me.
I'll be ready to help you fix things up when you are.
Common issues treated: relationship struggles, anger, porn addiction, erectile issues, depression, loneliness, stress, desire or arousal issues, sex therapy, coping strategies, and more.
Offering: couples therapy, marriage counseling, sex therapy, individual therapy for men, individual therapy for women, discernment counseling, family therapy, and relationship help.
Specialties include: sex therapy, men's issues, discernment counseling (deciding whether or not to stay in a relationship), relationship issues, perinatal time (pregnancy, postpartum, new parents).
Serving the Twin Cities area: St. Louis Park, Hopkins, Edina, Minnetonka, Plymouth, Robbinsdale, Minneapolis, St. Paul, Golden Valley, New Hope, Crystal, Wayzata, Orono and more in Minnesota.